When you go to an upper crust restaurant, take a seat at the table where a crisp, pristine white tablecloth is placed and you proceed to open the menu, do you rub your eyes and do a double take? One of the first things you see is vichyssoise – no, it’s not a particularly pricey dish, but you sure as hell can’t pronounce it. You think you can, but between you, me and the walls, you know you can’t. Moules marinière, anyone? Yes, that’s a bit of a toughie as well. And when you see Japanese matsutake mushrooms on the menu, look the other way . . . unless you’re prepared to pay upwards of $2,000 per kilogram. Really? Really? I think I’ll stick with foods that I can a) pronounce and, b) afford. Cheeseburger, please!