You’ve heard that awful “crunch crunch crunch” in your head as you chew. If your life were a horror movie, the sound would be Big Foot stomping through the forest, snapping twigs underfoot as he made haste towards unsuspecting campers. The sound is deafening and can be heard for miles. Well, okay, maybe not miles, but its echo can certainly be heard even when you chew with your mouth closed. I applaud your efforts at quietude, but you will likely fail at that. It’s celery; that’s what it does.